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Khan Manka, Jr. – Comic-Con 2010 Keynote Address
Before I get started, I just want say that I am not a geek. I am not a freak. I am not a dork. So why am I here today? I’m here because you geeks, freaks and dorks help keep me in private planes and...
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Vanity Fair Can Suck It
Good evening from the Seychelles. While I wasn’t planning on contacting anyone except the bartender during my final vacation of the summer, this morning I was forwarded the 2010 Vanity Fair 100 List....
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Manka Bros. Triathlon Team Finishes Last… Again
Unbe-fucking-lievable! If I didn’t know better, I would think that my employees only live to embarrass me. I was just informed that the Manka Bros. Triathlon Team (led by the freakishly pathetic Jay...
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Bilderberg Conference – Khan Manka, Jr. Keynote Address
[The following is a transcript of Khan Manka, Jr.'s keynote address to the 2011 Bilderberg Conference in St. Moritz, Switzerland. Mr. Manka insisted a word-for-word translation be put up on the blog....
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Gay Moroccan Poetry Is Not Going To Save Our Publishing Business
Last night, I had dinner with Cyrus Weinstein - President of the Manka Bros. Publishing Group. He informed me that his group is in ‘super-duper danger’ (as opposed to the ‘super danger’ he told me...
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The Producers Guild Can Suck It
And while I’m at it – the Hollywood Foreign Press can suck it, too! So, this morning I returned to the studio from a month long vacation at my house in the Seychelles – feeling relaxed, very tan and...
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Manka Bros. Is Not Attending The Sundance Film Festival
To all the acquisition and distribution executives at Manka Highbrow, Manka Dogma, Manka Docs and the new Manka Mumblecore - due to the shitty year you all had in 2011, you will not be attending the...
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The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences Can F Itself
Good evening from Davos! I am here preparing for my keynote address tomorrow to the World Economic Forum (I also spoke here two years ago). The subject of my speech will be the importance of media in...
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The Hollywood Foreign Press Association Can F Themselves
So, this morning, I returned to the studio after a quick vacation at my house in the Seychelles - feeling relaxed, very tan and ready to make 2013 the biggest and most profitable year in Manka Bros....
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Again, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Can F Itself
What I said last year can be repeated this year. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences can F itself. The same goes for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association… And while I’m at it, The...
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Again, The Hollywood Foreign Press Association Can F Themselves
What a ridiculous list of nominations! Another farce. Another embarrassment. It must be the Golden Globes! And the Hollywood Foreign Press can F themselves. Right in the A. Really, HFPA, you couldn’t...
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F The Academy Awards
Another year – another snub. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences can F itself. The same goes for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association… And while I’m at it, The Producer’s Guild can suck...
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Sundance: Manka Bros. Acquires ‘Scoiattolo che mangia arancio’
Hello from Maui! I’m feeling much better and have recovered from the outrageous snub from the Motion Picture Academy – yet still, fuck the Academy Awards. But life in Hollywood must continue. As many...
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Manka Bros. Acquires Film Rights To Checkers – 3 Films Planned
Great news! Following the enormous success of “The LEGO Movie” and the announcement that Warner Bros. has acquired the rights to “Minecraft,” Manka Bros., after an intense negotiation, has acquired the...
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Dear Hollywood Foreign Press – F Off
JESUS CHRIST! Who the fuck do you have to blow or bribe in the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to getting a stupid Golden Globe nomination?! These nominations are abominations. “Birdman” –...
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Again, F The Academy Awards
I can’t believe I got up at 5:30 this morning for nothing. Bob Iger gets up at 5:30 every morning to hang upside-down from a bar like a bat. I’m not a whack job like he is – I sleep until a normal...
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